The Gay Grand Tour Reinvented: 21st Century Homos Plot A New Course

This month we’ll explore some popular new travel destinations for gay men.

We may still fancy ourselves as 18th or 19th century dandies on a traditional Grand Tour, but the travel options and habits of gay men have changed radically during the past decade. Cultural shifts have expanded our horizons  and social networks are now prying open even the world’s most insular gay communities. In this issue, we’ll look at some of the new routes that gay men are plotting for their 21st century Grand Tours – including some unexpected destinations and some alternative travel options that can help to make it more affordable.

THE GAY GRAND TOUR, REINVENTED

For years, the itinerary of the average gay man’s Grand Tour included stops at a string of gay hotspots: South Beach, the Castro and Chelsea, Le Marais in Paris, Soho in London, Darlinghurst in Sydney… And for the daring, there was Puerto Vallarta or Bangkok. But even then, it was probably better to enjoy them from the safety of a cruise ship. It wasn’t just self-defensive, it was a lack of information. Who would guess that Cairo, even now, has a bustling gay scene? Or that Salt Lake City takes off its magic underwear at night?

The growing acknowledgement of gay rights (and the growing value of gay dollars) is outing some formerly closeted cities. Gay tourism now generates over $65 billion a year in revenue in the U.S. alone, a number that has grown even during the recession. Even without a moral imperative, cities like Buenos Aires and Capetown have good reasons to welcome gay travelers.

Take Tel Aviv. Last year the Israeli cultural capital surpassed New York to be named top gay travel destination in a survey conducted by American Airlines. Part of it is Israel’s progressive take on gay rights, since gays serve openly in the military and the government recognizes civil unions performed abroad. There’s also Lucas Entertainment’s Men of Israel, plus the warm climate, beaches, and vibrant club scene.

Then there’s Buenos Aires. The all-night dance clubs of the Argentine port city have drawn gay tourists for nearly a decade, but when it legalized gay marriage in 2010 it became a default stop on the gay grand tour. Not only does it have the ornate art nouveau architecture and the tomb of Eva Peron, but the city also boasts the only South American outpost of the chic, gay Axel Hotel.

And if you’re looking to get hitched, the last decade has seen great gains in marriage equality. Belgium, Norway, Portugal, Spain, Iceland, and Sweden all offer same-sex couples the opportunity to make it legal and to have a fantastic destination wedding. Why should straight people have all the fun?

For the gay traveler, equality extends beyond just marriage. South Africa’s post-apartheid constitution in the mid-1990’s paved the way for greater gay rights in many spheres, and greater tourism follows more tolerance. Its ten-year-old gay pride festival isn’t yet as storied as Johannesburg’s, but that may be changing. After all, Cape Pride includes easy access to some of the continent’s best beaches.

In Tokyo, gay identity is nothing new – but it is becoming more public. In Shinjuku Ni-chome (a former red-light district) some gay bars date all the way back to the 1950’s. Today, it’s booming again. The area boasts over 200 gay bars in a five-block radius. Take that, West Hollywood! But don’t be surprised if someone calls you a ‘homo’ – it’s just what they sometimes call  it over there.

New horizons are great, but some old favorites still retain their charm, too. Last year, San Francisco solidified its standing as the country’s rainbow flag-bearer when it opened the GLBT History Museum in the Castro district. The museum in the first of its kind in the US – an eccentric attic that includes Harvey Milk’s bullhorn, matchbooks for long-shuttered bathhouses, and ACT-UP flyers.

New York, too, has stepped up its gay game. The OUT NYC, a gay hotel in the bustling Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood, isn’t only close to the action – it is the action. The hotel even has a built-in nightclub called XL that was created in partnership with legendary New York nightlife promoters Tony Fornabaio and Brandon Voss (Club 57 and Rockit.)

These destinations are just the start. The essence of the new gay grand tour is that it has no set agenda, no Paris-Berlin-London troika. With a little creativity and a bit of flirting, almost any city can be yours.

It’s always important to do your research and to trust your gut, but the internet now allows gay men to find comfort and companionship even in cities where there isn’t a giant dance tent. The previous generation of travel guides were written almost entirely by travelers – but thanks to social media, local businesses are increasingly making an effort to attract gay travelers to their cities. And without such native informants, how else could we learn that some of the taxi drivers in Dubai are sometimes open to alternate forms of payment? Even when they don’t have websites, it’s much easier to make connections with locals thanks to sites like DudesNude, Manhunt, and Grindr.  And Couch Surfing sites (see sidebar) can even help you find a place to crash. It might be a while before we’re recommending the Sudan, Mauritania, or Iran (where homosexual acts are still punishable by death) as gay getaway spots – but with a little pluck and derring-do, you can be your own Auntie Mame.

ALTERNATIVE VACATIONS THAT OFFER MORE THAN JUST A BARGAIN

Is your wallet feeling a little dog-eared in this down economy? Don’t worry, because you needn’t be relegated to a Grindr staycation. We have some tips that can help to keep your trip solvent.

First up, there are volunteer vacations. They provide a way for you to combine travel with purpose and cheap lodging. So what if there’s not always a pool? While living in Buenos Aires as an ex-pat, I once met an industrious lesbian who was traveling the continent while working as an organic farmer with WWOOF. It wasn’t easy work (and farms don’t always have a direct transit line to the gay clubs) but she certainly got a chance to wander off the beaten track. After all, why travel 3000 miles just to go to gay bars that look and sound exactly like the ones back home?

Tilling the soil is just one option, however. Environmentalists gain access to rare natural wonders in Australia and New Zealand through organizations like Conservation Volunteer that let you save on lodging while helping the world. And for experienced travelers looking to share their knowledge, the UK-based HFHolidays offers guide-positions to its trekkers in exchange for reduced rates.

Working like a scullery maid isn’t your only cost-cutting option, though. A rented house is a great alternative to a hotel. It’s cheaper, and the full kitchen keeps your credit card from getting mugged by overpriced coffees, lunches, and dinners. Sites like Vacation Rental By Owner and AirBNB connect homeowners with itinerants. In addition to providing a place to lay your head, they can show you the lay of the land with restaurant recommendations (without kickbacks), transit schedules, tourist traps to avoid, etc.

I once rented a Paris flat on a cobblestone street from a Parisian philosopher (yes, she explained to two incredulous Americans, it’s a profession in France.) We were in a real Parisian home filled with art and light, not some aseptic boutique – and it was half-the-price of  hotel. In Cuba, I spent the next three nights at a $20 apartment steeped in Batistan charm, drinking espresso in the mornings with an old man who was able to give me an outlook on the country that the guests at a traditional hotel can’t get no matter how much they pay. Flexibility can get you almost anywhere.

If you’re willing to lower some of your standards, there’s even a cheaper option. A few months ago I came across a handsome young man from Brighton who was touring the country with little more than an iPhone and a crash pad app. In each new city, he simply refreshed the app’s listings and found a new bed to crash in. It isn’t predictable or run-of-the-mill, but neither was he. And he was charming enough that some folks even threw in breakfast at no extra cost. So leave your wallet at home. You can spend all you want on a vacation, but true adventure is priceless.

PALM SPRINGS CONFIDENTIAL:
WHERE TO LOSE IT IN PALM SPRINGS

Even those who have never been to Palm Springs seem to know about it. It offers sunny poolside dreamscapes that have appeared in more porn films than Mason Wyler, plus the beautiful San Jacinto mountains as a backdrop. The streets are studded with mid-century modern architecture like figures in a giant pop-up book. For gay Angelenos, it’s our version of the Hamptons – our Elysium.  During the week, Scruff bar looks like an early bird buffet; on the weekends, like a Kylie video. Either way, it’s heaven. But where should you lay your handsome head?

The answer depends on how gay you’re feeling.  At resorts like InnExile and InnDulge clothing is as optional as monogamy, and the only thing that’s prohibited is a vagina. There’s a five o’clock happy hour and a porn selection that includes many films that were actually shot on location there. In fact, last time I was in town, Hot House was shooting Trunks 6. Best of all, you get to cruise without an iPhone. Palm Springs is nothing if not retro.

Those who prefer a little mystery can head to the Ace Hotel and Swim Club, a refurbished Howard Johnson’s with its own dance club and a hot tub that stays open until 2AM. Are the ever-present fashion shoots staged by management? Is that Ke$ha asleep under your car? Is that waiter giving you the eye? The answer to all of these questions is… probably.

A few blocks away, the freshly opened Saguaro [suh-warh-oh] pops with the color of a bubblegum dispenser. The crowd is more tequila-tasting than margarita-swilling, but the views of the pool and the UVA-fearless zealots that line it are as eye-watering as it gets.

THE BOYS FROM BRAZIL:
A TALE OF COUCH-SURFING AND COUPLES COUNSELING

Everything started out well. I was living in Buenos Aires and looking for a cheap trip to Rio, but I forgot a golden rule: “Ass, cash, or grass – no one rides for free.” I found my hosts on Couch Surfing, a website that connects adventurous travelers with hosts offering a place to crash. It sounded like a Grindr for straight hippies, so I logged on and found a gay couple near Copacabana Beach. They were as handsome a thumbnail as I’d ever seen, so I wrote to them immediately. They wrote back and invited me to crash in their guest room. There was only one stipulation: they were nudists, and would be uncomfortable if I were clothed. When in Rome, right? A friend told me that he had heard of the couple before. “If you’re wondering whether it ends in sex… It does.” So I packed a light bag.

We had caipirinhas in the nude the first night. It was like a line from a blowsy 1970’s ballad. And while the older guy looked like Ziggy, the younger one had a nine-inch penis. But they were as polite as visiting Mormons, so I wondered if they were unhappy with their boarder.

I needn’t have worried. The next day, the younger one snuck into my room during my disco nap. Ziggy followed him, much like a pair of hyaenas circling a wounded gazelle. So I rolled my eyes and earned my keep, Ziggy knew I was being gracious. As soon as we had finished, he stormed out. They fought. And my free love anthem flipped to reveal a late Fleetwood Mac b-side. That night, we went to a club and they stood in silence as I danced alone, Molly Ringwald skipping to Ke$ha. At lunch the next day, I killed time by asking the Portuguese word for every piece of food at the buffet. By my final night, even the younger guy had turned on me like I was a traveling salesman who had asked for too much lemonade. So I packed up my sales kit and hit the road.

This should serve as a cautionary tale, I suppose – but I did have sex with a big-dicked Brazilian and I didn’t have to pay for a hotel. You only wish that your last vacation had been that good.