Creating Winning Online Profiles

Scott Stiffler offers some tips on crafting effective online profiles.

It’s common knowledge that all men are dogs; but the ones alive today are the luckiest dogs of all. We live in a gleaming modern age where gay men can openly and effectively troll for love & sex 24/7/365 thanks to a complex series of zeros and ones that broadcasts our intimate desires across a World Wide Web that exposes us to more action than we could ever possibly handle.

But how best to craft an online profile that ensures potential suitors won’t show up at your front door, only to run away screaming and then sue for misrepresentation and emotional distress? Honesty is the best policy — and one that will help you forge a love connection instead of simply using the web as a source of masturbatory fodder. To achieve the former and avoid the latter, here are five profile creation tips that are quick and easy — just like you!

#1 Know What You’re Looking For and Adjust Accordingly
Are you looking for sex or for love? The answer will determine what sort of language you use (“casual date” or “a quick fling” as opposed to “a monogamous relationship”). Either way, keep your description short, frank, honest and positive. Nobody wants to hear you piss and moan about your life until at least the morning after — if even then.

Being straightforward about who you are and what you want is your big chance to experience “erotic integrity.” That’s the phrase used by Ken Herron, Manhunt’s chief marketing officer. Herron sees online profiles as a chance to be “truly yourself, authentic in what you want. If you want to be bent over and spanked, this is your opportunity to let people know exactly what you’re into.”

Although you might be tempted to avoid being provocative, the cold reality is that the racy profiles are the ones that get the most attention.

#2 Describe Yourself as You Are / Don’t Exaggerate Your Stats
Tim Feeley, Manhunt’s head of product development, recommends being “as blunt as possible about what you’re looking for and what you want.” With many sites boasting more than one million users, “there’s somebody looking for what you provide, so you’re going to be successful just by being yourself.”

#3 Don’t Use Negative Language.
It’s a turn-off, so focus more on what you like in a guy rather than the things you can’t stand. Citing a recent Manhunt survey, Feeley says the biggest turnoff phrase is “No Fats or Fems.” Most people report that this kind of intolerant disregard for the dignity of others is an instant turn-off. You’ll be more successful emphasizing the fact that you like fit guys and then talking a little about your own six-pack. Although it may seem trite, Feeley says phrases like “looking for friends and fun” actually put others at ease and leave the door open for sex as well as companionship.

#4 Run it By Someone Who Knows You
Does the profile you created capture the real you? Sometimes there’s a gaping chasm between who we think we are and how the world really sees us. It’s prudent to have a good friend vet your profile before you make it live. Your idea of “easy going” may be closer to “high strung”, and only a true friend will say so. Just be sure to consider their advice seriously and to avoid taking it personally. Honesty is a rare gift, so use it.

#5 Choose Your Photos Wisely
Always use a current photo. Unless you’ve got a time machine, there’s no point in advertising yourself as you looked a decade ago. Unless you actually are a porn star, don’t try to act like one in your profile photos. If someone wanted an escort or a porn, they would rent one. Even if you’re not a classic Adonis, there are bound to be lots of things about your appearance and personality that many folks find irresistible. As many fashion editors can tell you, human beings find beauty in flaws and imperfection. They make us real and approachable; so don’t try to hide yours. That said — feel free to be creative and to show your good side.

Feeley also says, “When taking photos, make sure you’re in a spot where there’s nothing suspect or unpleasant around you. You’d be surprised how many people are turned off by seeing your doily collection in the background.” In fact, an entire blog called Lurid Digs is dedicated to dissecting the scary décor in the background of homemade nudie shots.

Citing customer research, Herron notes: “Whether people are looking for friendship, a casual hookup or a serious relationship, all of them saw great value in having photos of faces as part of their profile. Many said if there’s no face photo in the profile, they’re going to skip right over it. They want to know the person they’re hooking up with.”

If done correctly, adhering to these five simple tips will start you on the road to getting laid or finding the man of your dreams. But before you buy condoms or pick out a china pattern, it’s your responsibility to craft an online profile that features the very best of the real you.

FINDING MR. RIGHT
Once you’ve created the perfect profile, you can copy and paste from it to quickly create a presence at other sites. Here’s a list of some of the best places to meet Mr. Right.

DLIST
A social network for gay guys and their friends. From tame to wild, with lots of eye candy. Best for: Dating, friends, sex hookups, and possible long-term relationships

MANHUNT
With more than 40,000 members, it’s hard to find a more useful hookup tool online. The place to go when you need to find a hook up fast. Best for: Sex Hookups, Friends with privileges, and Swingers

MEN 4 SEX NOW
The name pretty much says it all! Uncensored personal ads make this a no-holds-barred nexus for men on the make. Best for: Sex Hookups, Friends with privileges, and Swingers

MEN 4 RENT NOW
If you have a body so fine that’s it’s too good to give away, you can always opt to sell it instead. As one of the leading gay escort indexes on the web, this would be the place to do it! Best for: Pimps, hoes, and the men who love them

DESTINATION MALE
Where gay men connect for all kinds of relationships.
Best for: Dating, friends, sex hookups, and possible long-term relationships

CRUISING FOR SEX
A portal to many different hookup sites, plus a database of local cruising spots and gloryholes all over the country. Best for: Sex Hookups, Swingers, and gloryholes

CRAIGSLIST
If it’s good enough for the men of the democratic national convention to post hookup requests, who are we to argue? Best for: Hookups, freaky scenes, and bric-a-brac.