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Issue 20.10 : Featured Article
Toy With Me, Bae: Scary Good Sex Toys For Men

Toy With Me, Bae: Scary Good Sex Toys For Men


Benji Lovari checks out some recently released sex toys for men that are all scary good.



Craving some adventure and intrigue? Hungry for a bit of excitement? In honor of Halloween we bring you this collection of scary good sex toys that are sure to deliver some thrills, whether you’re home alone or with a partner.

Freaks! Dildos from Fleshjack  $58-$100
In honor of Halloween, you can surprise your size queen partner with one of these (literal) monster cocks! The fantastical Freaks line of dildos features seven big dildos in vibrant colors which each showcase the dick of some famous monster or cryptid. The Freaks Collection of dildos includes Bigfoot, Frankenstein, Drac, Cyborg, Alien, Zombie, and Yeti! The Bigfoot model most resembles a human appendage, but some of the others are quite horrifying! However, to all the hardcore bottoms out there, these will probably look intriguing. Just imagine telling the pushy guy on Grindr, “Sorry, I just don't think this is going to work. You see, I've had Yeti dick, and nothing else compares.” All of the Freaks Dildos are made from the highest quality, platinum cured silicone and they've been sculpted in extreme detail by the design experts at Fleshlight. Best of all, these dildos are all heavily discounted at the moment in honor of Halloween – so be sure to check them out!

Loki Prostate Massager  $170
Looking for a vibrating prostate massager that isn't too small and can take things to a whole new level? This luxury toy is designed for discriminating men who are seeking more daring, powerful play and the most intense orgasms possible. Perfectly shaped and angled for an amazing and powerful prostate massage, the waterproof and rechargeable LOKI features six variable settings for climaxes that can reachmind-blowing intensity. Ample in size, the Loki may provide better performance for taller guys who have found smaller toys a bit disappointing. Like all the products from Lelo, the Loki features an aesthetically pleasing design, solid construction, and lots of attention to detail. Unlike some of the cheap generic products you can find online, Lelo's products are all made to the highest standards of safety and construction and the Loki comes in an attractive, custom molded box that is designed to be used for storage. The Loki offers a powerful vibration motor, smooth and curved girth, and a stability ring to help you get it into just the right spot and then to keep it there with ease. The Loki is also a breeze to clean since it's waterproof and can be used in the shower or bath. 

Turbo Ignition (Blue Ice) Fleshjack  $70
This innovative new Fleshjack offers a unique blend of non-anatomical, mechanical-inspired aesthetics and a surprisingly realistic, human-like feel. The Turbo's unique design features three points of initial insertion for your dick to plow through which are designed to replicate the feel of lips, a tongue, and a throat. The Turbo provides mind-blowing sensations that are the next best thing to a real blowjob. Whether you like to be driven wild with tip teasing or shaken to your core by the tight, spine-tingling sensations of deep throating, the Turbo has enough raw horsepower to send you flying towards the finish line every time.

Dr. Joel Kaplan Explorer Kit  $43
If anal play is a new frontier for you, this three piece value kit from Dr. Joel Kaplan is a great place to start your explorations. It includes an EZ Squeeze bulb douche for personal hygiene, a beaded probe, and a sleek tapered plug. All three are made from soft, flexible silicone and ABS plastic which is phthalate-free and cleans up easily in warm soapy water.

Club Vibe 3.Oh Hero Wireless Remote Control Plug  $130
This vibrating butt plug is packed with innovative features that you and your partner can surely put to imaginative use. This discreet, wearable, vibrating butt plug is designed to please, both in private and on-the-go. Your imagination is your only limit. Devilishly quiet and lightweight, the plug features three pleasure modes and a rechargeable, wireless remote control with a built-in microphone, so you can boldly explore epic new levels of sensation. Not only can your partner control the vibe's operation from afar using the small, nondescript wireless remote, they can also use the built in microphone to cause the butt plug to vibrate to the sound of their voice. The Club Vibe 3.Oh has three different modes. With Tease Mode you can tap the button to give your partner a little taste of what's to come (and the longer the tap, the better the tease). In Groove Mode, you can put the plug into five different pre-set pulsation patterns. In Club Mode, you can set the vibrator to activate in sync with a music source or your voice. The package includes the remote controlled, wearable, vibrating butt plug, a rechargeable, wireless remote control, a discreet privacy pouch, and a USB charging cable.

Optimum Series Automatic Smart Pump  $95
Looking for a safe, simple, and affordable way to get into the world of penis pumps? The Optimum Series Automatic Smart Pump from Cal Exotics features a sleek, durable, dual-function design that offers superior suction. This penis pump can be used to help you to increase endurance, improve stamina, and swell your cock via three enhancement exercise modes. The pump has easy-touch controls and a quick air release button for a safe and easily customizable experience. The thick, open-ended sleeve and its tight, nubbed interior provide an amazing stroking experience which can be enjoyed with or without applying any suction. The Optimum Series Automatic Smart Pump is phthalate-free and made from polystyrene, ABS plastic, and odorless TPR (thermoplastic rubber.) It uses a built-in rechargeable battery that can be charged using the included USB cable in about 90 minutes, which provides about 60 minutes of run time. The pump's cylinder cleans up easily using warm soapy water or a toy cleanser.

Skwert Douche  $13
If you're going to get fucked, you need to make a little extra effort when it comes to personal hygiene –  and the Skwert Douche makes it incredibly easy. The Skwert is an innovative, screw-on nozzle that attaches to any fresh bottled water and turns it instantly into a sterile douche. The five hole nozzle is made of 100% soft touch silicone and comes with two different threaded adaptors that will fit just about any kind of bottled water. You also get an adaptor that allows you to use the nozzle with the hose attached to your shower head, if you have one. It's quick, easy, convenient, and small enough to slip in a bag or pocket to take anywhere.

Damien Dildo  $160
If you should happen to run into Satan in some dark alley, you can always try being a Dom and just say, “Get ye back, Satan! The power of Lord Steven Christ compels thee! I rebuke thee!” If that doesn't work, try shoving this inverted cross/Damien Dildo up his ass (he likes that) and then run for the hills. Or sit on it yourself. To each his own. It's made from pure, platinum cure silicone and can be easily roped in place during extended exorcisms or sexual baptisms. It's safe with water, oil, silicone, and hybrid lubes and cleans up easily with soap and hot water. Alternately you can toss it in the dishwasher or soak it in bleach water. Just be sure to rinse off the bleach water before use. Keep it away! It burns, it burns!

Christopher Milan Fleshjack  $80
Award-winning song writer, producer and music artist has become the latest celeb to join the crew of official Fleshjack spokesmodels, and you can now pick up the official Christopher Milan Fleshjack and Dildo. The Christopher Milan Fleshjack is big, bold, and beautiful. It features an exclusive, chocolate-colored texture sleeve called King and a gold case.

Pissholer Silicone Sounding Kit  $ PRICE TBA
C1R’s Boneyard line of sex toys is releasing a new Piss Holer Silicone Sounding kit. It’s not for the faint of heart, but for those who like such things it includes a vibrating bullet that is held in place by a loop on the top and can be interchanged with the other sized sounds. The vibration then runs down the entire length of the sound and there are seven speeds to choose from. It should be available soon from ChiChiLaRues.

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