Okay, my little piglets… I’m back to review more pleasure devices. Last time I sheathed my rock hard cock with some personal strokers, but this time I'm reviewing toys that I can stick up my butt. In other words – I’m a very, very versatile writer. Recognize.

The three items up for review today came from Cal Exotic Novelties. First up is the Erotic Symphony – a Vibrating Egg and Beads made from durable rubber. If they want gay men to buy this, the product design is questionable (as is the image of a female ass half-draped by a lace teddy that graces the box cover.) However, I’ll ignore the cosmetic issues and stick to what’s important. Anal and vaginal beads are nothing new on the erotic toy market, but the built-in vibration adds a twist (with mixed results.) Employing an outdated, wired controller for the vibration was a mistake – as was the decision to anchor the controller’s power cord to the middle (!?) of the toy. This really limits its usefulness. From my experience, the best way to use anal beads is to slowly push them into the orifice and then to pull them out at different speeds. With the wire tied to the middle of the toy, doing that  becomes cumbersome. Also, the vibration takes place primarily in the egg at one end and never really achieves full strength at the opposite end. The feeling produced is akin to rubbing a blender against your ass, with no pulsating effects and no alternate modes of vibration. All in all, the Erotic Symphony fell flat.

Next I tried the Advanced Anal Explorer Kit and the 10-Function Advanced Anal Explorer Kit. These are actually perfect for a beginner bottom (and not for someone “advanced” as the box indicates, because the silicone probes measure only five inches in length.) Nevertheless, this is a good starter kit. Both versions contain an anal douche, which is very important for those just getting started. Remember kids – a clean bottom is a popular bottom! The Advanced Anal Explorer contains a silicone Probe and a graduated silicone probe, whereas the 10-Function model has a silicone Probe with an attached controller offering ten different modes of vibration. The different modes offer various types of pulsation, rhythmic pulsation, and high-powered vibration. It's perfect for getting the prostate warmed up and ready for some pounding. This toy’s controller is more advanced than the one on the Erotic Symphony and offers a one-button, LED-backlit touch control. Both models feature a strong suction cup at the base for mounting on the wall, the floor, a chair, or any other flat surface that your butt can accommodate. Yee-haw! Ride it.

Lastly, I tried the Booty Call Booty Buzz and the Booty Call Booty Rocket. These aren’t too large, so they would make great starter vibrators. But even though compact, they manage to pack quite a punch! Controls are located within the base of the vibrator, and the two different ergonomic designs are fantastic for massaging where it counts. The Booty Call offers a one-button, LED-backlit touch control and has ten modes of vibration. And best of all, the Booty Call is totally waterproof! That means it will keep going even in the shower, when your hole gets sloppy with lube, or when you get a yen to visit the aquarium and swim with the dolphins. This Booty Call has become my new travel buddy. It fits in my pocket – and it doesn’t need to cuddle after I get off. Basically, it’s the perfect boyfriend! I’m in love.

PHOTO © Mark Henderson