It can happen to the best of us. Your bottom is there in front of you, ankles to ears and asshole agape, waiting for you to plunge your fat rod deep inside. (Or perhaps you’re the
one with ankles to ears and asshole agape – but I digress...) You’ve already spent valuable time licking and tonguing his ass, making it quiver with anticipation for your cock. You reach over to your nightstand, nimbly slide open your sex drawer, and fumble blindly for a quality lubricant. But thanks to all of your recent orgies, hookups, masturbatory moments, and assorted incidents of unspecified fuckery, you’ve accumulated enough lube to start a small lube museum – and you’re not sure which one will deliver the most satisfying, sensual, and easygoing experience. So many choices, and yet so little time... Lest you go limp from anxiety, I’ve prepared a brief, thoughtful review of some of the top lubes.
    As a Personal Disclaimer, I should mention that I use Boy Butter and Pjur on the sets of all my movies. Both brands provide a long-lasting, well-oiled fuck-glide that stands up well under the hot lights and high-definition cameras – not to mention the aggressive butt poundings doled out by many of my models such as Rafael Alencar, Junior Stellano, Rafael Carreras, and Jonathan Agassi. You can watch them conducting lube tests of their own at the Lucas Entertainment site.
    First off, lubricants should not only ease the mechanics of sex, but should also enhance the pleasures of sex. Most silicone-based lubes are helpful in this respect. Two good examples are the I-d Millennium and Wet Platinum lubes. They cost a bit more than water-based lubes, but they last the longest. However, a note of caution: you probably don’t want to roll around in your finest linens while playing with these lubes. If you do, those sheets will be even tougher to get clean than your tighty-whities.
    If you can’t find a silicone-based lube, you should opt for a water-based formula such as ID Glide or Wet Synergy (an interesting water/silicone hybrid.) Although these offer easy clean-up, you’ll have to deal with a tacky feeling that requires frequent re-applications to alleviate. Remember, there’s a big difference between sticking your dick in some- one and getting your dick stuck in someone.
    There are a number of lubricants that go beyond the natural boundaries of sex, easily detracting from the qualities that make intercourse so wonderful. Two extremely important factors in fuck play are smell and taste. I enjoy the natural smell of another man and take pleasure in the taste of a fresh ass. Any kind of flavored lube takes away from this. How can you possibly enjoy the physical sensation of grinding and spooning when you’re overwhelmed by such ridiculous scents as kiwi-strawberry or ginkgo-biloba? Personally, I think such products would fare better as insect repellants – and I will test that theory out at my home on Fire Island this summer. I’ll report back at a later date.
    In addition to the gels and fluids, there are also a number of cream-based lubricants such as ID Him. Since they maintain a consistency similar to Crisco, they’re heavily favored for larger jobs such as fisting or double-penetration. When you’re greasing up a bottom for a performance like that, things can get messy – so feel free to use any excess lube for your everyday baking and cooking needs. Martha Stewart would be proud.
    By now I hope you’ve found the right lube and can proceed with your pleasuring. When you are done, please remember to collect unconsumed lube for use at a later date. We must each do our part to recycle.