By Roger Bataille
Every year we hear stories about middle-aged men going overseas to have sex with underaged girls or boys. This is clearly despicable, but is it wrong to travel for sex with consenting adults? Back in 2006, Reuters Online ran a story about older women from the West flocking to Kenya to enjoy the company of younger Kenyan men. Some claim this phenomenon is rooted in colonial fantasies and racial subjugation, but in truth it has more to do with basic issues of loneliness, self-esteem, and prudish Western ideas about how older women should feel and behave. When it comes right down to it, many gay men have a lot in common with these women who seek summer lovers in Kenya. Like them, we long to rediscover our true selves, to explore our desires for companionship and sex, and to enjoy romance and adventure without being judged.
A handful of small gay and straight travel agencies advertise “sex tours”, but in general any tour company that uses those explicit terms is probably either running a scam or doing something illegal that you should want no part of. The truth is that you don't need a special tour to have a good time. Sex, romance, and adventure are there for the taking any place on Earth if you simply have an open mind and a little patience.
If you'd like to make friends with local gays and to take a summer lover, your best bet is to reserve a generous chunk of vacation time and to spend it all in one or two places. That way you can really get to know a city's rhythms and customs and you'll have time to create friendships. Many travel agencies now cater to gay travelers and some offer exceptional service that can make this easier, but it doesn't come cheap. However, with a little effort you won't need them.
For decades gay men have traveled to Mexico to enjoy the beaches and the sexy local companions. At gay-friendly hotels and resorts you can usually find an assortment of friendly guys loitering around the pools, beaches, and cabanas. They’ll show you where locals hang out, get you drugs, go sight-seeing, recruit friends, sleep in your bed, and more (as long as they're having fun.) It goes without saying that you pay for everything and that they appreciate some spending money, but it isn't prostitution so much as horny young guys fascinated by the U.S. and looking for fun. There’s a potential dark side to this arrangement, though. At some resorts, you may be puzzled when your cabana doors require a key to leave as well as to enter. This is because vacation rent boys are notorious for nabbing wallets and disappearing into the night. Although the controlled egress might seem sinister, it's just there to protect travelers.
You won't find local companions as readily in every country, but they are usually there. If you make an attempt to meet gay locals, you’ll meet nice guys fascinated by foreigners who will welcome the chance for a Summer affair. They crave the same no-strings attachment that you do and they'll proudly show you everything their city has to offer.
If you prefer a more organized vacation that includes a local support staff, one of the best gay travel agencies is Purple Dragon Tours. They have gay tour guides available around the globe, including places such as India, China, Thailand, Vietnam, and more. Purple Dragon does NOT offer any kind of “sex tours” and they make it clear that certain countries don't have much in terms of overt gay culture. However, no matter where you go you'll always find the same percentage of gay folks (8-20 percent, depending on which studies you trust). In gay meccas like San Francisco and New York, you'll find a higher concentration, but nowhere will you find numbers lower than the baseline. We're everywhere – and regardless of repressive regimes we will always find ways to reach out to each other. Traveling to gay hotspots makes for an easy vacation, but if you're brave enough to visit places like India and rural Japan you can have equally enjoyable – and potentially life-changing – experiences.
At Global Gayz, you'll find information on gay life in countries all over the world. Especially enjoyable are the stories on gay Japan and gay India. Global Gayz has archived an enormous amount of information about almost every place on earth, and all of it is written by fellow gay travelers.
If you're already abroad and just looking to get off, you'll find some great guides to Amsterdam and Brazil at Cruising for Sex. For more general gay travel information about Amsterdam, check out the Night Tours Gay Guide. If you're interested in Thailand and its famous LadyBoys, read the article at Thailand Buddy.
If you still haven't been convinced to avoid any kind of travel advertised as a “gay sex tour”, you might want to check out some of these cautionary tales. At Global Gayz there's an article about a Bangkok travel agency busted for conducting pedophile tours and at RepublicOfT you can read about the notorious “Mandingo Sex Tour”. Brave New Traveler offers the shameful truth about sex tourism and at Canada Tourism you'll find one more take on the urban cougars of Kenya.
If you opt for a shady “gay sex tour” you may end up with unexpected “expenses” – and possibly a venereal disease or a trip to the local jail. But if you just make local gay friends when you travel (which you can do online, pre-trip) you can count on getting laid a lot more than you would on any sleazy “gay sex tour.”
Contact Roger Bataille at freelance@cybersocket.com
